No less than three friends subsequently concluded that I was actually planning on cutting my hair and was simply foreshadowing this with great sarcasm, sort of like a plea for help before a suicide I guess. Two of them added - one at great length - that this was a good thing, since my hair was already too long. One of those two suggested my long hair was interfering with my obvious desire to find and marry a fellow student. The third said my long hair was interfering with my obvious desire to find and sleep with a fellow student. I think he was not serious. These comments represent the findings of my social scientific study of reactions to hairstyling commentary on Jesus Drives an SUV. Other comments arising solely from real-life interaction are part of a separate study funded, as always, by the Church of the Orange Sky. Among other things, people who have no dreadlocks have begun to give me a wide variety of frequently contradictory advice on how to grow dreadlocks.
The sarcasm was actually the part where I said dreadlocks would stop making me look like a drug dealer. Twenty days after I decided to let my hair air-dry and begin to tangle more or less randomly, I have made a good beginning towards my goal of becoming truly unemployable. Either I comb these out soon or I let them lock properly, which will probably look better but will force me to eventually cut my hair.
Failing to understand the words of he who has been anointed and called to the ministry of the Orange Sky is a high crime which would be punished with much torment if my religion had yet grasped the concept of divine retribution.
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