A Darker View of the Priesthood: Final Reflections on Numbers

This post is part of a revolutionary Bible commentary by the Church of the Orange Sky.

I'm a little confused. Christians basically reproduce the ancient Jewish belief that Moses wrote all of the books of the Torah, though we add in another not entirely helpful layer of Bible-as-intrictae-coherent-word-of-God nonsense that we imported from the Muslims. (I've never read the Koran, which maybe I'll do next, but on the surface they'd at least appear to have a considerable advantage over us on that scale because the Koran really was written fairly quickly and in a single location, whatever else you believe about it.)

But my reading of Numbers has shown extremely significant differences in the approaches taken by the authors of books in the Torah. This goes beyond mere inconsistencies and contradictions, though of course those are there as well. (Having moved further from my evangelical roots with every chapter, I find that hunting for contradictions, let alone finding ways to "harmonize" them, is increasingly dull and irrelevant.) It's about the general mood and the apparent interpretation being placed on various events.

Exodus and Numbers are telling similar stories, but where the former is concerned more chiefly with the immediate moment of liberation from Israel, the latter is concerned more with what happens after the revelations at Mt Sinai. This immediately gives the opportunity to describe some of the darker events in Israel's early history, but the author of Numbers seems to revel in regaling stories of the complete idiocy, incompetence, and general faithlessness of the average Israelite. Even where the stories are retellings of the same events, this new bias is obvious - like the story of the quail, which God once provided out of generosity, but in Numbers provides out of sheer spite, so demonstrated by the fact that as the Israelites begin to eat, he starts killing them even while ordering them to gorge themselves.

In contrast to the fickle masses, the Aaronite priesthood - and Moses - are heroes. They're not perfect; eventually even Moses screws up and God decides to kill him too - but in the meantime they save Israel from God's irrational rage in one strange crisis after another. The Israelites are fortunate they have their priests, the Numbers account says, because every so often God will be seized by fits of uncontrollable anger, and a properly trained priest will have to be summoned to perform a powerful bull sacrifice, or burn magic incense, in order to save everyone from annihilation. And only the priests have the magic hands! Based on the Numbers account, absolute obedience to the priesthood is pretty much a necessity: even if God doesn't blow you away for the mere initial act of rebellion, pretty soon after that he'll kill you for some other reason, and a priest won't be there to stop him. God is a wild, angry force and the priests alone can control him. The theological implications of every component of that statement are immense and unusual, yet Numbers appears to accept the statement as a basic premise. The priests even get responsibility for a variety of new and exciting ritual forms, all to give them something fancy to do as they demonstrate their power over God and everyone.

In the meantime, the Israelites have already started killing people. The context is uncertain and the reasons seem okay, at least to begin with. The first few states they promise not to harm provided they are granted free passage, but after God sentences the Israelites to death, they become understandably angry and bitter. They are no longer simply on the march, so they can't just negotiate for safe passage with various countries. In theory they're not settling yet, but that doesn't stop them from brutally attacking states, and systematically massacring the survivors. They can't take their anger out on God, but the peoples around them are a lot more vulnerable than a deity, in part because of Israel's oversized, massive army. God's role in the military campaign is ambiguous: sometimes he is silent, sometimes he appears to convict the wrong nation of the wrong sin. He lets his only known non-Israelite prophet, Balaam, get killed in a pointless skirmish.

Even as he punished the people with death for their sins, God is starting to reveal more hints about the society he wants the Israelites to build in Canaan. As I've noted in a numbers of posts, this is a seeming stateless one, where most social and economic power is controlled by the priesthood - a power rationalized in Numbers by their apparent ability to manipulate God through reason and powerful magic. Moses has seemingly proposed the first formal separation of church and state through his division of his powers between priest Eleazar and general Joshua, but that is a fiction; Joshua's authority is limited to the conquest of the holy land, but the priests' power is eternal. There is a much more conservative and pessimistic view of human nature, and the priesthood rises to counter this. In the meantime, the Israelites are commanded to love others as they love themselves, but this plainly doesn't apply to non-Israelites, who may be slaughtered with impunity.

There are a few bright spots in the narrative - the first women's rights, for example - but these are buried beneath contempt for people without title, murderous contempt of foreigners, and the steadily growing elite status of a hereditary priesthood. It's painful to admit that in some ways I actually liked and preferred Leviticus.
Continue reading

Moses Parcels Out Canaan: Numbers 32-36

This post is part of a revolutionary Bible commentary by the Church of the Orange Sky.

The Israelites are continuing to prepare for their long-awaited invasion of Canaan, and now it's time to make some more specific land and title arrangements. Most of it is pretty dull. The women from Gilead who approached Moses asking to be given their father's land get their due - the only women mentioned in this passage, certainly the only women owning property. It comes at a price, mind you: the (male) leaders of the Manasseh tribe come to Moses complaining that if these women marry out of the tribe the land might go with them. Moses agrees and orders that the women may only marry if their husband is also of Manasseh. This restriction applies only to women who own land, thus subordinating this little bit of freedom gained to the "needs" of the greater community. Some property gained, some liberty lost.

The Levites, as you may recall, don't get any land. Instead, God gives them some cities. Several of these are a new concept in ancient jurisprudence which God calls the "sanctuary city": sacred land to which accused murderers are permitted to flee in safety. In these cities they are guaranteed safety until they stand trial.

The Bible is a little unclear about what happens next. If the act is deliberate or involved a lethal weapon, the accused is guilty of murder and must be put to death. If it was accidental, the "assembly" of the Israelites will come to a judgement. God does not describe how they will do this, except that witnesses are required at a trial - at least two of them.

The punishment, moreover, is intriguing. I speculated before that God was proposing a stateless society, and that seems to apply here as well. The responsibility for carrying out the execution, if one is called for, rests with "the avenger of blood," presumably someone from the victim's family or tribe. So long as the accused is in the sanctuary city, he may not be harmed by the avenger. He may stay there until the death of the high priest; the Bible specifies twice that this is the priest "who was anointed with the holy oil." The suggestion that the holiness of the priest protects these individuals is an interesting one.

A more contentious issue arises in chapter 32, when the herders of the Reuben and Gad clans see that the lands already occupied by the Israelites, in Jazer and Gilead (what we now call the West Bank, I think) are best suited for their livestock. They suggest to Moses and the other elders that they remain there.

Moses is incensed. He essentially accuses the Gadites and Reubenites of being unpatriotic, pointing out that while they rest in relative comfort the other Israelites will still be fighting for their homes. He calls them a "brood of sinners" and reminds them that the last time the Israelites fucked up badly, God promised to wipe out every living adult. The Reubenite and Gadite leaders, clearly better diplomats than Moses, propose a compromise: they will keep this land, but they will go with the other Israelites for as long as the fighting must go on.

Thus the situation is resolved, but it raises an interesting question. Earlier on, the Bible looked with great optimism to arrival in the fabled "land of milk and honey." Now, as the date for the invasion again draws near, suddenly that land doesn't look as attractive after all - some people don't even want to go in and take what is theirs. God doesn't comment in this chapter, so we have no idea whether he feels betrayed by this reversal, or angered by the fact that this essentially means the Israelites will have to hold conquered land that he intended would not be part of their territory in Canaan.
Continue reading

The War Crimes Begin: Numbers 31

This post is part of a Biblical commentary sponsored by the Church of the Orange Sky.

I know it's anachronistic but I'm not sure what to call it. It sounds silly accusing the Biblical people of atrocities, but that's what they are, and tellingly, on this occasion God is notably silent in the narrative until it comes to counting the booty at the end.

God decides that it's time to "take revenge" on the Midianites, a strange turn of phrase given than a few chapters ago this was supposed to have been done already. On his own initiative, Moses organizes a provisional army of 12 000 men in 12 divisions, and "sends them into battle," accompanied by priest Phineas.

The army attacks Midian and wins easily, killing "every man." Among the victims are the five Midianite kings and, ironically, Balaam of Beor. God lets his prophet be killed by his people, it seems. The fact that Balaam gets put to the sword might be a hint that this mission has reached unauthorized extremes, or it might simply be that God really doesn't give a damn about non-Israelite prophets, even after he went to the trouble of intimate conversation the Israelites themselves are supposedly unworthy of. After the men are dead, they kidnap all the women and children, and plunder the herds and flocks and towns and so on. All the loot is carried back to the main Isrealite encampment.

What follows is highly dubious. God hasn't yet given any blanket genocidal commands, at least not explicitly (he will later, I suspect), but on this occasion Moses takes it upon himself to issue the commands anyways. He is furious that the soldiers allowed the Midianite women to survive. He foolishly claims that Balaam was responsible for the Israelites losing their faith a few chapters ago, something which Numbers itself would appear to contradict. To straighten the matter out, Moses orders that all boys and women be killed. The troops may keep virgin girls alive, if they wish. Moses seems to realize this is a dubious affair even as he gives the orders; he requires that all the killing be done away from the camp and that the murderers stay away for a week, and then have themselves purified before rejoining Israelite civil society.

The priesthood - and, by extension, God - are elated by the profitable expedition. Eleazar orders all the gold, silver, bronze, iron, tin and lead loot purified, and then they divvy up the proceeds: half is divided among the community, half to the 12 000 soldiers. The soldiers must give 1 out of every 500 animals and persons captured to the priesthood - interestingly, the tax on war profiteering is considerably less than the tithe tax on legitimate economic activity. Later, the army commanders collect all the jewelry looted and offer it to the priesthood as thanks for having a fatality-free battle. The priesthood also collects all gold items - which in total weighed about 400 pounds.

In total, the Israelites get about a million animals and 32 000 virgins. The genocide of the Midianites has apparently been a most profitable affair, and all conducted on a very dubious pretext. God says the Midianites harmed the Israelites, but in reality it was the Moabites who did so. Moses blames Balaam, which is most curious because Balaam, despite the incident with the talking donkey, generally acquitted himself pretty well. He followed God's orders at every turn, and has been repeatedly punished for it. The Israelites - and even God - seem more interested in slaughtering foreigners for their women and treasure than they do about any real semblance of justice.
Continue reading

Women Can't be Trusted to Swear Oaths: Numbers 28-30

This post is part of a revolutionary Bible commentary by the Church of the Orange Sky.

Time for some more rules! God takes a chunk out of Moses's busy schedule to lay down the law. He orders daily, weekly, and monthly sacrifices to be conducted. The feasting rules are repeated: the Feast of Weeks, the Feast of Trumpets, the Day of Atonement, and the Feast of Tabernacles (nowadays we know these as Shavuot, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and Sukkot). Lots of offerings, sacrifices, etc. which don't seem worth going into detail to cover - except that it's worth noting that Sukkot sounds like one hell of a barbecue. God orders the following sacrifices to be made at the porta-temple: 71 bulls, 15 rams, 105 lambs, 8 goats, and a variety of grain and drink offerings to round out the field.

The most fun is reserved for a lengthy chapter on the swearing of vows. You'd think this would be unnecessary, since God dispenses with the rules for men pretty quickly: "when a man makes a vow to the Lord or takes an oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he must not break his word but must do everything he said." Simple enough, right?

Maybe, but the rules for women are necessarily more complex. This is because, as I already discussed in the context of the Levitican sex laws, most women are owned by men, and therefore special precautions have to be taken to protect the men from frivolous promises their unreliable women might make. For this reason, a father has the authority to nullify a promise made by his daughter; a husband has the authority to nullify a promise made by his wife. If the husband doesn't nullify the oath, he is assumed to have "confirmed" the oath. He becomes responsible for the oaths.

On the bright side, if your husband dies or leaves you, you're allowed to swear oaths independently.
Continue reading

Church and State, or just Church?: Numbers 27:12-23

This post is part of a revolutionary Bible commentary by the Church of the Orange Sky.

Moses is getting old and Aaron's already dead, so it's time to decide who's in charge in the future. Before this happens, God sends Moses up onto another mountain to give him a panoramic view of the land the Israelites will eventually conquer. Is God seizing another opportunity to torment Moses with what he's missing out on, or is he trying to be kind? I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and go with the latter.

Moses prays that God will arrange for future leadership of Israel, then summons Joshua of Nun and Eleazar the high priest. In the future, God says, Joshua will carry some of Moses's authority. Strangely, God tells Moses that this will happen after Moses gives Joshua "some of your authority." What is this authority? Is it a magic dust that Moses carries around in his pocket?

Joshua won't have the same access to God, though: that authority will rest with Eleazar instead. God, who as every conservative will admit is a big fan of magic divination, says that Eleazar will make decisions using the Urim and the Thummim, the strange divining instrument that was originally described way back in Exodus. Even the high priest, it seems, won't have the same access to God that Moses does. Presumably this will be very convenient for those later priests who demonstrably can't summon and tame God the way Moses does on a regular basis.

What's perhaps even more interesting, though, is that God is essentially proposing the eventual abolition of the state: Israel is going to be a stateless society. That wasn't uncommon among people at that time in history, especially among nomads - but this is less true for a centrally organized agricultural society of the sort that is apparently going to be one day established in Canaan. All of the other peoples the Israelites run into have kings. God will be the Israelites' king, it seems. The only hereditary title is that of the priesthood: the state side of Moses's task is reduced to being general of the army, and while Joshua will do the task admirably, God seems to think even that won't be necessary by the time Joshua dies. He makes no arrangements for the survival of hereditary military leadership the way he does hereditary priestly leadership.

As an anarchist I'd like to think that a stateless society under God is a grand idea, but the book of Judges is coming up, and I'm pretty sure its author has other ideas. Plus there's still the matter of the priesthood, which has a pretty decent tax rate to assure its continuing revenue. And there are all those laws requiring capital punishment. Who's going to carry them out?
Continue reading

Divine Census v2.0 - and Women Can Own Land?: Numbers 26 - 27:11

This post is part of a revolutionary Bible commentary by the Church of the Orange Sky.

God tells Moses and the new high priest, Eleazar son of Aaron, that he wants another census to be conducted. Presumably because God has poisoned, buried, burned, and blown up so many Israelites since the last count that he wants the numbers tallied again. They count 601 730 Israelites, which means the population has basically flatlined. Given the tens of thousands God has killed in the meantime, not to mention casualties from their various battles, we must conclude that Israelite girls are having a hell of a lot of babies. Which is cool - more profits for the priests!

God decides that the Israelites' future inheritances will be decided based on this census: larger tribes get more land than smaller ones. The Levites, of course, don't get any land, which God had already said is what would happen. At least now we know why they didn't need to be counted along with the rest.

A truly phenomenal incident follows: five women, who the Bible actually names (Mahlah, Noah, Hoglah, Milcah and Tirzah) come before Moses and say that they're worried about the way the land is being divvied up. Their father, Zelophehad of Hepher, has died in the desert without giving birth to a male heir. This means the land he stood to "inherit" in Canaan will never be allotted. The women tell Moses that the land should be given to them instead.

This half-chapter is markedly more tolerant of women's role in public affairs than most of the rest of the Torah. The Bible actually identifies their genealogy through their father's lineage all the way back to Manasseh, the way it would if it were trying to establish the proper credentials of men. Moses takes the case to God, who immediately agrees that Zelophehad's daughters "are right" and says they have the right to inherit and own land. From then on, God adds, the same principle will apply in every similar case: daughters have the right to inherit land when there are no eligible sons. It's a pretty minor concession, but I'm still impressed and a little surprised. Women have challenged an apparent flaw in the divine law, and God responds in their favour.
Continue reading

More Israelite Faithfulness, And God Kills the Wrong People!: Numbers 25

This post is part of a revolutionary Bible commentary by the Church of the Orange Sky.

After our acid trip to the land of talking donkeys and wayward prophets, we return to the more familiar theme of the Israelites behaving like blind idiots.

The Israelites are now staying in Shittim, of all places, and apparently they're there for quite a while - long enough for the men to begin what the NIV calls "indulging in sexual immorality with Moabite women." (I prefer the KJV version, which says much more prosaically that the men "committed whoredom.") These women invited the Israelites to participate in some pagan religious services worshipping the god "Baal of Peor," and naturally the Israelites did. The lesson is obvious - if you fall for a pagan chick, you'll also fall for her pagan gods - but the premise is ridiculous. Do the Israelites believe these are rival gods, or have they simply forgotten who god is? The best explanation is that the worldview of these people accepted the existence of many competing gods, of which God was only one. Only in this competitive polytheism do the Israelites' actions make any sense at all. If you do believe that there are lots of roughly equivalent gods to choose from, you might want to consider dropping the old Abrahamic one; after all, he's tormented you, ranted at you, and promised to kill you. The Bible doesn't seem to consider that there really would be real other gods - after all, it routinely mocks them, beginning in Exodus with the notion that the Israelites could "make" a god in their spare time - but the Israelites apparently feel differently.

You'll be familiar with the result: "the Lord's anger burned against them." He proposes that he kill all of the leaders of Israel to set an example. Instead, Moses tells the leaders to kill all the people who have participated in the pagan ceremonies. In the meantime, God sends another plague into the Israelite camp. God is pretty good with these plagues. The U.S. Army biowarfare program could use someone with his expertise. Instead they're stuck doing ludicrous projects like the ill-fated "gay bomb" experiment.

Whether the elders were prepared to mete out another round of death sentences in the name of God, however, we'll never know, because in the meantime one of the aforementioned pagan chicks causes a commotion when she walked by the porta-temple holding hands with a Simeonite, Zimri of Salu. Phinehas, a priest of God and also Aaron's grandson, picks up a spear and murders both Zimri and his girlfriend. God is terribly excited by Phinehas, proclaiming the young priest "as zealous as I am." He decides to forgive the Israelites, and even stops the plague - but only after it kills another 24 000 people. Jesus Christ.

God's thirst for blood isn't sated, though. He orders Moses to have all the Midianites rounded up and killed, "because they treated you as enemies when they deceived you in the affair of Peor."

This is a strange and senseless verdict. The woman killed by Phinehas was indeed a Midianite, but the women involved in the Peor sacrifices were Moabites, not Midianites. The only other Midianite woman I can think of is Moses's own wife - the daughter of Reuel/Jethro of Midian. Is God confused about who the women are? Is one pagan tribe pretty much the same as another? The "all pagans look the same" argument seems convincing, though you'd think God would find some way to tell the difference.

Along with the unexpected genocide of the Midianites, the Numbers account also explicitly strengthens further the elevated status of the priesthood: Phinehas has been so righteous that God will make a new "covenant of peace" with him and his descendants. They will be "a lasting priesthood." (Of course, as a son of Aaron Phinehas should already be part of a "lasting priesthood," but I guess God wants to make doubly sure."
Continue reading

God and his Amazing Talking Donkey: Numbers 22-24

This post is part of a revolutionary Bible commentary by the Church of the Orange Sky.

For those who take the Bible literally, this is where Numbers gets truly bizarre. Actually, I was so interested to hear how this would be rationalized that I went on Google to find some appropriately conservative evangelical websites. You'd be surprised how tough it was on this occasion. In a way it's even more puzzling than the flood story. This is basically a children's fantasy story, told in the stilted, copy-of-a-copy language of the Holy Bible.

The Israelites have finally reached the plains of Moab, where evil king Balak is sitting on his throne, rubbing his hands and cackling maniacally. The Moabites talk with some Midianites, since they apparently cohabit the land, and Balak decides to summon a prophet for advice. He chooses Balaam of Beor. Elders come to Balaam with a "fee for divination" and Balaam promises to give them an answer.

It will surprise you, no doubt, to learn that Balaam apparently worships the same god as the Jews. This doesn't make much sense - why is God on intimate terms with pagan prophets? - and the conversational tone he uses with Balaam is something usually only referred to the lofty Moses, at best. Balaam talks with God and God tells him not to go see Balak. Balak's messengers initially accept the refusal, but the king is unhappy and promises to "reward him handsomely" if he comes anyway. Balaam refuses but promises to talk to God again. This time, God says he's decided that Balaam should go with them.

Weird. Balaam gets up the next day, saddles his donkey and sets out to go see Balak. God is enraged by this and determines to "oppose" the trip. This is yet another example of God forgetting his own instructions; in this case, mere hours after he told Balaam to go to Balak, now he's angry that Balaam's going to Balak. God is "enraged" by the fact that Balaam is obeying the command of God!

Weirder. God's method of disciplining Balaam is stunning and creative. Rather than the various methods of annihilation with which he regularly bombards Israel, God plants an invisible angel in front of Balaam's donkey. Actually, it's only invisible to Balaam; the donkey can see the angel just fine, and stops dead. Several times, which really pisses off Balaam. Now it's Balaam's turn to get angry; he starts to beat the donkey.

What the fuck? God speaks to Balaam using the mouth of the donkey, complaining, "What have I done to you to make you beat me three times?"

I'm not sure what's more disturbing: that God pretends to be a donkey, literally talking out of his ass; or that Balaam is apparently completely unperturbed by the fact that his donkey is talking to him. Balaam's response indicates that he really does think his donkey can speak: "you have made a fool of me! If I had a sword, I would kill you." Were talking donkeys such a regular occurrence in Biblical times that it wasn't even a shock to Balaam? Is he insane and hallucinating?

After toying with Balaam a while longer, God makes his angel fully visible. Balaam realizes now who he's been talking to and begs forgiveness. God then repeats the instructions from the previous night and the prophet resumes his journey to Balak.

Balak holds the requisite sheep sacrifices, and then Balaam begins to speak. Balak wants him to curse Israel, but instead he prophecies that the Israelites are righteous and will not be defeated because God is with them. Balak demands another oracle, so they perform some more sacrifices, and Balaam returns with pretty much the same message, adding that Israel is like a powerful lioness and God has made the tribe mighty. Balak, showing a very strange concept of how divinity works, tells Balaam to try again. He does, with the same result. Balak has had enough and orders Balaam to go home, but before he does, the prophet offers one final oracle: Israel is going to conquer and destroy all its enemies. On his way home, Balaam delivers a few more warnings to random Amalekites and Kenites, telling them that they, too, are doomed to fall under the sword of Israel.
Continue reading

The Israelites Worship Moses's Giant Snake: Numbers 21

This post is part of a revoluitonary Bible commentary by the Church of the Orange Sky.

The exciting accounts of war and killing I wrote about yesterday are strangely interrupted, halfway through, for some more complaining from the Israelites. Apparently they're getting tired of eating manna day after day after day. According to the last chapter on this subject, the Numbers account of the quail episode (in which God struck the Israelites with poison and plague), it tastes a bit like olive oil. I guess I'd be tired of olive oil after so much time.

God, of course, is not sympathetic. According to Numbers's unusually brief account of this particular little rebellion, God "sent poisonous snakes" into the camp to bite people. The Bible says simply that "many Israelites died."

The survivors, as has become predictable, assemble before Moses and ask for forgiveness. Moses agrees to pray for them and, between the two of them, he and God hit upon what is apparently a fair resolution to the conflict. Moses "makes a snake" out of bronze and puts the idol up on a pole. People who are bitten by a real snake are commanded to come and look upon the fake one; when they do, they are healed.

Why? Who knows! One of my conservative former pastors once said this was kind of like an early analog to Christ being raised up on the cross, but that doesn't make any sense. The snake is a symbol of wrath, judgement, and death here. And in a text notably suspicious of idol worship, for no apparent reason, God decides that the usual sin offerings aren't good enough and orders this strange process put in their place.
Continue reading

The War Begins: Numbers 20-21

This post is part of a revolutionary Bible commentary by the Church of the Orange Sky.

Israel hasn't actually started to conquer the promised land yet, so they don't begin these chapters with any particular intention to fight. It all has the feel of some sort of fantastic quest, actually, with the Israelites moving around the map from one realm to the next. First up are the Edomites, and Moses greets them as brothers, the sons of Jacob to the sons of Esau. He proposes that the Edomites give them free passage through the land, and promises that no Israelite would venture from "the king's highway" as they travel. They willl take no food or water from the Edomites. Edom refuses and assembles their own army along the road. Rather than fight them, Moses turns aside and they head in another direction.

Peace doesn't last long: Next is the land of Arad, which is populated by Canaanites. The Arad king allegedly captured some Israelites, which I suppose is plausible, and on this pretext, Israel retaliates by completely obliterating the Aradites: "they completely destroyed them and their towns." It would seem that the Israelites are taking anger management lessons from their God. This isn't really a genocide since the Aradites are Canaanites and most of the Canaanites haven't been targeted yet, but it's still an ominous beginning to the campaign. Interestingly, it's the Israelites themselves who propose killing off the Aradites. They ask for God's blessing in this slaughter, and apparently he gives it.

After killing off the kingdom of Arad, the Israelites move on towards the Moabites and the Amorites. Like the Edomites, the Amorites muster an army to stand at the border and tell the Israelites to go another way. The Israelites extend the same offer to the Amorites' King Sihon: they will pass in peace, taking and destroying nothing. Sihon is having none of it. The Israelites don't even bother to ask for God's blessing this time: they crush Sihon's forces and "put him to the sword." They also capture all of the Amorites' cities, including the capital, Heshbon. Somewhat disturbingly, the author of Numbers then launches into a bombastic and militaristic war poem describing the capture of Moab and the rape of its women.

After the Amorites are thus destroyed, the Israelites press onwards to slaughter the people of Bashan, under king Og (which is a really cool name, I think). This time, God tells Moses he will be with them, so the Israelites make no offers of peace. Instead, they simply invade and kill everyone they can find. The author of Numbers proudly relates that they "left no survivors."

After each of these little conquests, Numbers records, the Israelites "settled" the land they had taken. This is intriguing. Why are they settling now, after God has just cast them away from the holy lands? Is it supposed to be God's decision, or theirs, that it's time to settle down after all? The Israelites are making the transition from escaped slaves to fighting force, and it's not necessarily pretty. What is the purpose of this conquest and slaughter? It lacks even the thin legitimacy of Joshua's later wars, although it's also gratifyingly vaguer about the details. It's notably devoid of any lengthy, self-absorbed speeches by God, pronouncing his grand intentions for the world and for the Israelites in particular. The Israelites appear to be killing people just because they're in the way.
Continue reading

God Gets Angry Again and Promises to Kill Moses: Numbers 20 : 1-13, 22-29

This post is part of a revolutionary Bible commentary by the Church of the Orange Sky.

This chapter is a hodgepodge of different events but I'm going to combine them because none of them are all that lengthy or complex.

Once again, the Israelites are upset. There's a water shortage, and once again the writer of Numbers is rigidly contemptuous: naturally, having once again run into trouble, the Israelites proclaim that they'd rather God had just killed them all during the Kohathite protests. Weird. Maybe next time Moses and Aaron should just let God kill them. Apparently they're the only two people present actually opposed to the idea. Moses and Aaron gather the people and Moses, using his magic staff, makes water flow out of a dry rock. Everyone drinks until they are full.

This is a strange story because it's actually about Moses's failure, not the people's. As the people began to complain, God ordered Moses to tell the rock to produce water, but instead, Moses struck the rock with his magic staff. For some reason, this is a mortal sin in God's eyes. This is a strange reaction, given that on pretty much every single previous occasion Moses has been told to perform miracles, God has wanted the staff to be involved. Is this just for variety?

After all that Moses has done and all the times he's restrained God from various orgies of destruction, the penalty prescribed seems particularly cruel: Moses and Aaron are going to be among those who die before entering the promised land. God is pretty calm about it - he doesn't, for example, "burn with anger" and have to be held back by Aaron's magic incense - but somehow that makes it worse.

Aaron doesn't last long after this latest test. Just a few verses later, Moses and Aaron are summoned by God, along with Aaron's son Eleazar. In a highly symbolic if somewhat brutal ritual, Aaron is brought up Mount Hor, his priestly clothes are stripped from his back, ande he is left to die. Moses gives the clothes to Eleazar. Aaron has been rejected by God, demoted, and killed; having lost the priesthood, he also loses his very life. That is the only real lesson that can be taken from this method of death. Moses permits a month of mourning before Isreal moves on.
Continue reading

God's New Tithing System: Numbers 18-19

This post is part of a revolutionary Bible commentary by the Church of the Orange Sky.

God clarifies that all of the sacrificial meat and food belongs only to Aaron's lineage, i.e. to the real priests. The rest of the Levites, however, are given all other tithes. They get no inherited land within Israel; instead, they belong to God and get the tithe. When they get the tithe, the Levites are also required to tithe: they must give one-tenth of their one-tenth to God. Naturally, because Aaron remains the capo di tutti capi, the Levites' tithe is actually going to be given to his priests. What a deal.

Aside from the fact that this cements into place in economic terms the troubling hierarchy God has been building on the social and religious level, it's actually an interesting idea. The Levites are going to be relatively wealthy: ten percent of the Israelite economy is a larger share than any other tribe seems mathematically likely to get (there being 13 tribes in total), especially given that the Levites are a much smaller group than most of the others.

Before analyzing this any further, I want to point out that it seems rather cruel for God to be giving them these rules at this point in the narrative. A few days ago, he slaughtered three thousand Israelites for asking to speak with him directly. He also announced his intention to delay the Israelites' invasion of Canaan until every living adult had died. Now that they've been essentially sentenced to death in the desert, God is lecturing them on the customs and practices their descendants will adopt once they're settled in Canaan. God's timing is pretty poor. No wonder the people are often unhappy with his leadership.

The tithing law is actually detailed more extensively in Deuteronomy than is is here, so I'm going to leave off on a more detailed criticism of it.

After making the tithing arrangements, God invents yet another new ritual, this one involving the slaughtering of a red heifer. Have you noticed that the rituals are getting increasingly more complex than the simple handful of sacrificial forms back at the beginning of Leviticus? It's all part of giving the sophisticated priesthood something to do. The heifer is to be sacrificed and burned. The Israelites will keep the ashes, however, and use a handful whenever they need to purify somebody from sin or uncleanness. This is a new treatment for uncleanness that wasn't necessary before, back when people were just unclean for a few days and then could return to the camp. Strangely, the person presenting himself for purification doesn't seem to have to bring along an extra offering to pay the priest his commission. Are the priests expected to perform this ritual for free, for a change?

I wonder what's going to happen when the ashes of the heifer are all gone. You'd think this would happen fairly quickly, what with the enormous size of the tribe. At least within this chapter, God doesn't seem to think they're going to have to perform this particular sacrifice more than once, which is another example of his strange lack of foresight.
Continue reading

God's Divine Protection Racket: Numbers 17

This post is part of a revolutionary Bible commentary by the Church of the Orange Sky.

God decides to try his hand in reinforcing the religious protection racket being set up by Moses and Aaron. For no apparent reason, he announces to Moses that the time has come to end the Israelite's grumbling once and for all. Why we should expect this to work is unclear. God's track record in the Old Testament leaves a lot to be desired - even when he does carry through with his incessant threats, as he did during the flood, it never works the way he thinks it will.

This time, God proposes a novel new approach: instead of killing the Israelites, he's going to persuade them. Why this would impress the Israelites is unclear, since he massacred over 15 000 of them just a few days before. Nevertheless, God doesn't usually stoop to actually persuading people, so perhaps it's understandable that his first try seems a little odd.

God commands all of the tribal leaders to bring a staff to the porta-temple. Aaron will provide the Levites' staff - an interesting little twist as Aaron continues to usurp more and more Levite power on the sly. All the staffs will be planted in the ground, and God will make the staff of his chosen priest sprout into a plant overnight.

Surprise! It's Aaron! Sure enough, Aaron's walking stick turns into an almond tree. This staff too, God decrees, is to be kept in front of the porta-temple as a warning to dissentors. The Israelites are depressed by this outcome, complaining that this proved God is going to kill them. Instead of responding further, God pulls Moses and Aaron aside and launches into a new list of rules and obligations.
Continue reading

God Kills the Protestants: Numbers 16

This post is part of a revolutionary Bible commentary sponsored by the Church of the Orange Sky.

I skipped chapter 15 because there was basically nothing there. God gives some more rules, which are basically a rehash of Leviticus; and the community stones someone who was caught gathering wood on the Sabbath. Aside from the fact that it's a different sin being punished, there are marked similarities between this story and the one back in Leviticus 24, where a young man has clearly sinned but is held in custody while the confused Israelites wait for God to tell them how to punish him.

Things get more interesting later on, when one of the Kohathites, named Korah, makes a claim you'd think was quite reasonable. Along with 250 fellow dissentors, Korah comes before Moses and Aaron and declares that the whole community is God's holy people and it is wrong for the holy brothers to "set themselves above the Lord's assembly."

The Kohathites were Levites, so technically this squabble might only be an intra-priesthood thing, although the way Korah phrases the protest makes it seem considerably more egalitarian than that. Korah is essentially proposing that people ought to have the right to know God directly rather than through the separate mediation of the priests. Surprisingly, I heard a sermon which touched on this once in a Baptist church and the pastor actually managed to side with Moses on this one. You have to, of course, because God does too - but any sort of Protestant denomination ought to be able to identify with Korah, because that's essentially the position he's taking.

Moses and Aaron aren't impressed. Moses reminds Korah that they'd reached a compromise earlier in Numbers, when God made the Levites holy but still placed them under Aaron's authority? Isn't this enough, Moses asks? He tries to appeal to a couple of Korah's henchmen from the Reubenites, but they rebuff him as well. The fact that the Reubenites and the lower Levites have banded together on this one is interesting: the junior clergy and the parishioners are rebelling against the patriarchs. The Canadian Anglicans rehearsed just this very battle a year ago when the bishops overruled the clergy and the parishioners to prevent the church from blessing gay and lesbian couples.

Ominously, Moses orders Korah's little sect to "appear before the Lord" with him the next day. The rebels and Aaron are all going to burn incense and God will decide whose fire is authorized. (Last time someone burned "unauthorized fire before the Lord, God killed them immediately, so it's to Korah's credit that he was courageous enough to show up.)

Right on schedule, God shows up, looks at the incense, then tells Moses and Aaron to "stand back" so that he can blow up the entire assembly of Israel. Moses and Aaron urge God to keep his cool, so God compromises: he will annihilate only the actual dissentors. What fairness! Moses pronounces doom upon the rebels, and then the earth opens up beneath their feet and swallows them whole - along with their wives and their children, which, if you ask me, is a little excessive. Once again the pro-lifers probably have some way to rationalize this, but still. What was their sin? Being born to a rebel?

After he's killed the Protestants, God sends holy fire to destroy their incense too, and then Aaron's son is sent forward to beat the smoldering censers into flat sheets which will be made holy and kept as "a sign to the Israelites" - a sign that to challenge the priesthood's status as sole link to God is worthy of swift and horrifying death for oneself and one's family.

The next day, the Israelites show an impressive degree of courage: they organize a protest demonstration against Moses and Aaron for killing Korah. Once again God is infuriated and proclaims his intention to annihilate his people. To kick off the new apocalypse, God begins spreading an extremely lethal plague among the people. Thinking quickly, Moses tells Aaron to burn some authorized incense. The trick works: God stops the plague, though not before he's already killed 14 700 people. The writer of Numbers thinks this is a heroic action by Aaron: in a very cool phrase, he declares that Aaron "stood between the living and the dead, and the plague stopped."

It's a cool phrase, used to describe a very uncool incident. Aaron and his magic incense are the latest of the lion-tamer chronicles, in which Moses and Aaron stand before an irrationally angry God and save the Israelites from sudden death. This maniacal God hardly seems fit to lead a nation. If not for the courage of his priests, it seems he'd rather kill them than lead them.

The Korah story, and particularly the protest, puts a new complexion on the continuing faithlessness of the Israelites. Are they continually dissatisfied with God, or is it that they just don't like the new priesthood? They're escaped slaves - maybe they're reluctant to take on a new set of masters so quickly. Usually the Numbers author describes them rebelling against God, but this story suggests otherwise - Korah has popular support, but not for rejecting God: he's not rejecting God, only rejecting the priesthood as the sole means of relating to the divine. On this occasion, God sides with the priesthood against the people. That's what you'd expect from the pro-priesthood position he's taken in the latter part of the Torah, but in my mind this is one of the most disturbing cases yet.

Notice the steadily increasing role of Aaron. You'd think Aaron would be sympathetic, since just a few chapters ago, he and Miriam were protesting Moses's monopolization of divine power. Aaron escaped unscathed; Korah isn't so lucky. Exodus stooped to some pretty blatant criticism of the priesthood when it described Aaron readily agreeing to make an idol for his wayward congregation. Now, though, Aaron is the hero, using his magic incense to stop God's wrath.
Continue reading

God Decides to Kill Everyone (Plus, Giants!): Numbers 13-14

This post is part of a revolutionary Bible commentary by the Church of the Orange Sky.

God invents espionage: he instructs Moses to send a dozen men (one from each of the fighting tribes) for some much-needed reconnaissance in the land of Canaan, which, according to God, will soon be conquered by the Israelites. The chosen dozen spends 40 days touring Canaan and returns with the news that there is much milk, honey, and fruit to be had - "but the cities are fortified and very large."

The holy pair - Joshua and Caleb, who will take over from Moses after his death - declare that the land is rich and "we should go up and take possession." But the others, who like most Israelites are lazy and faithless, disagree, saying the Israelites aren't strong enough. As I noted previously, the Israelites seemingly have enough men under arms to become a Bronze Age superpower. Surely they can handle this.

But no - because there are Nephilim in Canaan! This is a ridiculous statement. Given the context, it's unclear whether the men are lying about this - but then, no one bats an eye. According to Genesis, the Nephilim - the word actually means "giants" - were on the Earth prior to the flood. But that means they should have all died eons ago. Why are they still around? How did they survive the flood? Weird.

The writer of Numbers isn't content just to blame the faithless ten, though: according to him (or them), all the other Israelites take advantage of this negative report from the spies. They decide that God has hoodwinked them and they're going to be massacred by the Canaanites, so word spreads that a new leader is going to be chosen, to lead them back to Egypt. They even consider stoning Joshua and Caleb, which seems a bit extreme.

Unsurprisingly, the mistreatment of Joshua and Caleb is enough to provoke God's rage once again. He speaks - this time to Moses and Aaron together, which suggests he's decided to cooperate with Aaron after the latter's protest in chapter 12 - and announces his decision that every Israelite adult is going to die. He proposes to strike down the entire nation with yet another plague and, once everyone is dead, he will start a new nation from Moses's family, just like he once did with Abraham.

Also as usual, Moses leaps into action to deflect God's anger and pacify the angry deity. If he murders the Israelites, people will think he's a failure as a god, Moses points out. Therefore God should forgive them.

God offers a compromise position: he won't kill everyone right away, but he will lead the Israelites around in circles in the desert until every living adult has died. Once everyone has died, then and only then will God collect the remaining Israelites and lead them into Canaan. The only two who will be saved are Joshua and Caleb. To seal the deal, God sends down a new plague and kills off all the faithless spies.

The Israelites, who can't do right if they try, decide to show their regret about the whole sorry episode by marching into Canaan anyways. This, Moses points out, is now an act of disobedience, since God has sentenced them to death in the desert. They go anyways and get soundly beaten in battle by the Amalekites and the Canaanites, who are apparently allied. This is impressive, assuming any more than a token regiment of the Israelites' massive army went into combat.

God's decision is a stunning one and, to the Israelites, presumably an appalling one. He hasn't exactly condemned them all to death, but he's come pretty close - after leading them this far with promises of a grand paradise "of milk and honey," they've fucked up one too many times and now he's going to delay for forty years, waiting for them to die of old age as they wander homeless in the desert.

God's irrational anger is starting to get a little tedious. He repeatedly proclaims himself merciful and loving and slow to anger, but time after time he's so beside himself with rage that he's apparently willing to break his covenant with Israel and blast his people off the face of the earth. The Numbers author does him a favour by highlighting, whenever possible, the fickle stupidity of the Israelites, who are as consistently weak and dissatisfied as God is wrathful and violent. Still, they've been slaves for 400 years. They were wrenched from Egypt by a God who had abandoned them to slavery and oppression for 400 years - an astounding figure which seems short to us only because we have no narrative to fill in the time period. 400 years ago would be 1608 if we were counting today. It's a phenomenally long time for God to wait before staging a religious revival, and he has some nerve to be surprised when his people are a little suspicious of his intentions.
Continue reading

Moses and his Bonus Wife, plus More Misogyny, and Trouble for Protestants: Numbers 12

This post is part of a revolutionary Bible commentary sponsored by the Church of the Orange Sky.

Moses, it turns out, has an extra wife, a black woman from Cush. (This is in addition to his first wife, Zipporah the Midianite.) It's unclear when Moses picked up his bonus woman, but by Numbers 12 it's caused some contention. Aaron and Miriam grumble about this, and the conversation turns to another grudge they apparently share: Moses has spoken through them, too, but only Moses seems to be getting the credit as God's chosen one.

The scribe who wrote this section of Numbers provides an idiotic and exaggerated aside - that Moses was in fact "more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth - then turns to the real result of the matter, which is that, predictably, God is not happy at this dissent, and sets about at once to restore the unchallenged authority of his chosen patriarch. Moses is no mere prophet to whom God reveals his will, God declares: Moses speaks with God "face to face"! So no one may challenge him.

Once again, the anger of God "burns" against Aaron and Miriam. Bizarrely, however, God only punishes Miriam for the crime; as his cloud takes off into the sky, Moses and Aaron turn to see that he has given Miriam severe leprosy so that her entire body has turned white as snow. Aaron promptly asks Moses to forgive the two of them, which is decent of him, though it's patently ridiculous that only Miriam should be punished for this sin. Aaron is the high priest - surely this gives him greater responsibility, not greater immunity!

Moses is Miriam's sister too, of course, and he also feels sorry for her, so once again it's up to Moses to tame and control God. He has an astonishing degree of control over the divine, it seems. God replies to Moses that he is like Miriam's father, and he has spit in her face - as a father would if he wished to reject a daughter. Therefore Miriam's punishment will follow the law: she is to be sent from the camp for seven days, after which God will heal her and she may come back in.

On the one hand, it's interesting that God is following his own laws here. It took many centuries for European culture to rebuild the concept of the rule of law during the medieval, Renaissance, and Enlightenment periods, and an uncertain amount of time for the Romans to build it to begin with (they subsequently dropped it in favour of naked imperialist expansion, sort of like the Bush administration has).

On the other hand, what the hell is this supposed to symbolize? That high priests are allowed to sin? That women are evil? That the high priest's requirement to avoid uncleanness is enough for God not to punish him?

There's a second, disturbing implication to this story, which has to do with the fact that God is severely punishing people for presuming to argue that they may interact with the divine through some other channel than Moses. That even the high priest must respect this boundary is intriguing, but I doubt many Protestants would really be pleased by the implications of Numbers 12 if they paused to seriously think about what's going on here. I could go on but there's another, even more dramatic incident coming up in a few chapters which will help make the point even more clearly.
Continue reading

God's Rage versus the Israelites versus the Magic Priesthood: Numbers 11

This post is part of a revolutionary Bible commentary by the Church of the Orange Sky.

Exodus and Numbers are covering some similar material, but from dramatically different perspectives. Biblical literalists can probably find some way to twist and harmonize them, of course, but this pretty much puts the lie to the notion that Moses wrote the entire Torah.

Back in Exodus 16, God gave the Israelites manna and quail. Several times as I reviewed that book, I noted that the average masses of Israelites - unlike Moses, Aaron, and the Levites - were faithless, unhappy and discouraged even at times when you'd think, at the very least, they would be well aware of God's various powers. The quail episode, however, was notably positive; the people are unhappy that there is food, so God promises them not just their daily bread - the manna - but meat for dinner. Everyone is happy. It's a good time.

Numbers is a lot more pessimistic, however; there was still some liberation theology-ish touches before, but they're pretty much gone now. At the beginning of this chapter, "the people complained about their hardships in the hearing of the Lord" - an odd statement, since presumably God hears things all over the place. Nevertheless, upon hearing these complaints, he flew into a rage and sent fire into the "outskirts of the camp." Upon seeing what is happening, Moses prays to God and the fires go out.

This is a return to what I previously described as priest-as-lion-tamer theology. God sees something sinful, gets extraordinarily angry, and begins killing people. (This occasion is relatively tame in that he apparently doesn't teeter on the brink of wiping out the entire tribe, but don't worry, divine camp rage will return later!) Moses, the ever-patient spriritual head of the people, intercedes for them and calms God down. The recurring theme that the chosen prophets and priests have power over an angry, vengeful God is a convenient one for the priesthood, since it secures their power. "If we weren't here to protect you, God would wipe you out at once! So give us food and silver!" In the hands of an unscrupulous high priest, this could easily tilt over into religious extortion.

In the Numbers version of the exodus story, God gives the Israelites manna well before he gives them quail -- so long that the people are tired of eating manna and recall their varied Egyptian diet of past years. Both God and Moses listened to the people "wailing" about the manna, and according to Numbers, Moses was "troubled" that his people were unhappy. God, of course, ever the petulant child, is more than troubled: he is "exceedingly angry."

Moses gives a most strange speech in which he comlains that he can no longer deal with all these troublesome whiners. He says, in fact, that he would prefer God to strike him dead - immediately - if the alternative is to keep caring for the Israelites. Moses seems to think that there's no meat available for the Isralites, which strikes me as most implausible given all of the animals the Israelites seem to have on hand whenever they need to perform a sacrifice.

God tell Moses that he will ease the prophet's burden by transferring some of the authority - which he refers to as "the Spirit" - onto the nation's 70 leading elders. He does so, but apparently only for a single morning, after which sole authority as prophet returns to Moses. Why there was such a short time limit is not made clear.

As for meat, God doesn't promise the celebratory feast he gave in Exodus: this time, he declares that he's going to give the Israelites so much meat they'll be sick of it. They are going to be required to stuff their mouths with quail for an entire month, "until it comes out of your nostrils and you loathe it." As promised, a stiff wind blows in and deposits an enormous number of quail around the camp, so that everyone gathers up at least 60 bushels of quail. (I'm not sure how the measurement works in this case, but it certainly seems like a lot.)

But God's not done! As the Israelites begin to eat, he strikes them with a "severe plague" and quite a number of them die and are buried.

Why God would over-react like this in the Numbers version of the quail story is most unclear. I'm beginning to have a new respect for whichever optimist is responsible for the Exodus version of Jewish mythology, because this one seems almost ridiculous. God is almost sadistic as he lights fires in the camp, orders the Israelites to gorge themselves sick, and then torments them with plagues.
Continue reading

The Completion of the Holy Priesthood, and God's Mandatory Retirement Policy: Numbers 8-10

This post is part of a revolutionary Bible commentary by the Church of the Orange Sky.

God continues his work of setting up the Levite priesthood as a holy people within the holy people of Israel by ordering Moses to parade all 22 000 of them before the porta-temple as a "wave offering." (This is taking the concept of the "wave" very loosely, unless Moses has very strong arms.) Naturally, there are some dead bulls involved.

God declares that the Levites alone have become "wholly" his people: from this point forward they will be his firstborn sons. And having purchased them, he further declares, he's now going to give them "as gifts" to Aaron's priestly family. The other Levites "will do the work at the Tent of Meeting" and make atonement for other Israelites.

This would seem to complete the basic structure of the new religious social order which God has been constructing for some time now. The Levites have formally crossed over from "Israelite" to "sacred" and, in doing so, been placed under the authority of the (thus far quite incompetent) high priest, Aaron.

Interestingly, God establishes a mandatory retirement age for the Levites. He drops the age at which they have to start working from 30 to 25 - no explanation is provided in the text for why this is done; he simply states the new age by divine decree - but adds that once they reach fifty years of age, "they must retire from their regular service and work no longer." Only the Levites seem to qualify for this retirement package - the other Israelites must presumably keep doing whatever they're doing until they drop dead of old age, unless their sons agree to take care of them in their final years. On the other hand, probably few people reached fifty years of age in a society such as this, so perhaps it wasn't a big deal.

Having completed this ritual, God instructs all the Israelites to celebrate the Passover meal (even the unclean ones may participate!) and to permit foreigners to participate as well, if they so choose. God's magic cloud sits over the porta-temple and glows at night so the Israelites have light. Every so often, the cloud will fly away, and the Israelites will follow it. The tribe appears to be on its way to the promised land again after this long delay to talk about laws and set up the priesthood. Just after they set off, God decides that Moses should have some special silver trumpets made for the priests, so that they can coordinate the movements of the tribe. Since in theory we have about two million people on the march here, that's probably a very good idea.
Continue reading

The Men Decorate the Porta-Temple: Numbers 7 - 8:4

This post is part of a revolutionary Bible commentary sponsored by the Church of the Orange Sky.

Remember how the men and women were invited to contribute supplies for the new porta-temple? No longer!

(The Bible variously refers to the Hebrews' magic travelling church as a "tabernacle," a "Tent of Meeting," etc. I'm calling it the porta-temple for brevity because that's what it was: a temple that was portable.)

In Numbers 7, Moses has finished building the porta-temple. Usually you throw open your new home for an open house, but obviously you can't do that with the porta-temple because it's sacred ground, so instead Moses asks for another round of donations. These ones are presented exclusively by "the Israelite leaders," one from each of the tribes. The festivities begin with a presentation of six carts of various goods, which moses gives to the Levites. Actually, only some of the Levites; the Kohathites don't get any of the goodies, because they are already responsible for carrying the most sacred relics, like the Ark of the Covenant, and Moses doesn't want them to strain their backs too much. (This is a strange notion when you think about it, because in theory there are several thousand men in each Levite clan.)

The rest of chapter 7 is a pointlessly elitist ode to the generosity of all the Israelite leaders, listing in excruciating detail the precise donations given by each man. To give you an example, Eliasaph of God donates a large silver plate, a silver bowl, a gold incense bowl, a bull, six rams, six lambs, six goats, and two oxen.

Now, I've made it actually sound more interesting than it really is, because these men are actually presenting the same gifts, but the Bible, always keen to avoid giving offence through lack of detail, helpfully provides a full list twelve times over.

God seems pleased enough with the offerings - and for good measure, the Bible lists them all for a thirteenth time, in case you missed any the first twelve times through. I don't know. How pleased would you be if everyone came to your housewarming party and gave you the same gift?
Continue reading

Jewish Ascetics?: Numbers 6

This post is part of a revolutionary Bible commentary by the Church of the Orange Sky.

In Numbers 6, God creates the Nazirites, who are basically ancient analogues of the Rastafari: no alcohol, no spending time in the presence of corpses, no cutting of hair. This is done to symbolize a special period of "separation to the Lord." Unsurprisingly, the pro-priest editors of Numbers specify that when this period is over he has to give the priests a lamb (two actually, but one is burned), a ram, grain, drinks, and bread. Presumably this is to make up for all the food he would have paid to the priests during the time he had devoted himself to God alone. In addition, the Nazirite's hair itself becomes an offering to God, and when you end your time as a Nazirite, you have to shave and then burn the hair.

The Nazirite practice is an intriguing one: it's raised out of nowhere and then drops out again near the end of the chapter. It's also deliberately flaunted later on by the story of Samson, who despite being a sworn Nazirite, routinely does all the things a Nazirite shouldn't do - he touches dead bodies, he drinks, and eventually gets his hair cut off. It's kind of unclear, but given that you can't be near dead people, presumably you implicitly have to renounce violence too, at least lethal violence. If you break this rule, you have to present extra birds to the temple, shave your head, and start all over.

The Nazirite protocol seems to provide a minimal counter to the carefully constructed social hierarchy of Exodus, Leviticus, and now Numbers. Every Nazirite, God specifies, is "holy"; he is "separated" from society so that he may be dedicated to God. Usually only the priests get this level of holiness, though it seems this is entirely an individual holiness - it doesn't confer upon you the right to act like a priest by marching into the porta-temple and eating people's sacrifices.

Also, God actually specifies that anyone - man or woman - can be a Nazirite. It is a vow which may be made by anyone who wants to give it.

This is worth mentioning because so far there have only been two incidents in the entire history of Israel where an act of free service was voluntarily offered to all people: the Nazirite vow and the donations to the construction of the porta-temple.
Continue reading