Christianity to me, now and then..

Sometimes, I lay awake and wonder about how my faith has changed (I was going to use the term evolved, but I think some might have issue with the word being used in conjunction with the notion of faith. LOL) over the years. I've concluded I must either be a terrible Christian or I've been living in faith for so long it just feels natural.

When I was younger, and in my teens, I was a teenage 'Christian Radical'. I was 'on Fire' for the Lord, and enjoyed praying. I enjoyed service. I enjoyed the retreats and getaways.

Now, I'm so damn eager to leave the service so I can get the free cookies and coffee I almost knock over the little old ladies on the way. I mean, the service is good.. And prayer, well, okay.. not so much as I used to. Reading scripture.. well, that too has been rather.. sporatic. Sometimes, someone talks when the priest offers, and I can't help but wish they'd let the preist get back to his service.. I'm there to hear him, not them.. but none this seems very Christian, and I guess I see myself becoming more complaicent with my Christianity.. something I don't think is any good.

But compared to my youth? I remember being chained to Morgentaler's Clinic. I remember shouting at the steps of EveryWomen's Clinic. I remember being taken away in a paddy wagon from Scott's Clinic. I remember objecting to gay rights. I don't think I was very tolerant then. Very devout, I suppose. I don't know if what I was could be considered 'Christian'. Christ, after all, taught us to be compassionate towards others even when we disagreed with the way they lived their lives. I'm certianly more compassionate towards others now, with my views towards gays and abortion changing. Does this make me Christian? I don't know. Does being more devout make me more Christian? Again, I don't know. But I suppose the minute I stop asking these questions, then that in of itself answers the question, does it not?

Shawn