Monday, October 30, 2006

Jesus Says "No Bad Words!"

Procrastinator's Link of the Day: The Parents Television Council, source of the most complaints about television obscenity in America by several orders of magnitude and self-proclaimed defender of the faith when it comes to the evil which seeps through the white picket fences and into the vulnerable minds of the youth of the unsuspecting traditional family via their TV sets. The PTC's greatest service is providing a stoplight-style rating system for all shows presently on television (or at least all the ones that they can risk reporting on). I learned of them when they rated Buffy the Vampire Slayer as one of the most immoral TV shows ever (thanks to the combination of lesbian characters, occult themes, too much sex, too much violence, and so on), seconded later on by Whedon's other long-lasting TV creation, Angel. (Unfortunately, Firefly was cancelled before Whedon could successfully go for the trifecta. The only show I have seen on television this year which was not a re-run was from the drama/neo-noir Veronica Mars, and I was very disappointed to see that that show's combination of constant innuendo and a rape victim as the main character was somehow insufficient to merit a quadruple-red rating. That '70s Show, by contrast, got a triple-red rating, but didn't have enough violence to pick up the fourth red light. I guess what the PTC really hates is homosexuality and occult magic, since these are the two greatest threats to morality in America today.

This year, they also expanded into rating the best and worst advertisers (and noting the channels and shows on which they appear). Altria, formerly Philip Morris and the leading marketer of cigarettes, is the sixth-best advertiser. GM, Toyota, Volkswagen, and DaimlerChrysler are the worst. How the PTC decides what advertisers are moral or immoral isn't clear, since their press release doesn't mention their methodology. However, they do say at one point that it has to do with "wise advertising decisions," which seems to suggest that they're being rated based on the shows their ads are associated with. Perhaps it's a points-based system: If a GM ad airs during a That '70s Show rerun, it's -6 points. If it airs during American Idol or Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, which are examples of rampant populist capitalism and therefore Christianity at its finest, then it gets +10 points, for an overall score of +4. This is good, but it loses out to Target, which advertised only during Bernie Mac and therefore picked up a score of +5. The fact that these corporations are actually trying to profit from their ads takes a backseat to their apparent responsibility to defend the family.

The PTC's front page is full of articles reflecting the usual siege-mentality, us-against-the-evil-secular-world that one finds on most conservative Christian sites these days. These people never seem to realize the contradiction betwen claiming that they are servants of an all-knowing, all-powerful God and fretting over whether the secular humanists will take over the world if the churches don't stop them. They cheer about their complaints about obscenity on the Emmys, in a Madonna concert, General Mills ads, and prime-time television in general. In this latter case, they are demanding heavy fines be levied against "scripted profanity" which is aired "as early as 7 pm." According to the PTC press release, their righteous anger was provoked by two unspeakably evil incidents just in the last month:

    New broadcast channel My Network TV scripted the “s-word” into the September 21st broadcast of the prime time soap, Desire. The incident occurred during the 8:00 pm hour on the East and West coasts and during the 7:00 pm hour in the Central and Mountain Time Zones, and, even worse, the word in question aired during the opening sequences of the program.

    And just last week, NBC scripted the word ‘t*ts’ into the October 5th broadcast of ER, which airs at 9:00 pm in the Central and Mountain Time Zones.

The fact that the words are so evil they can't even be named properly in the press release is evidence of the evil that has been unleashed upon America by the satatnic secular humanist directors of My Network TV and NBC, respectively. Oddly enough, seeing dead people on television doesn't merit a similar warning, because the first rule of being pro-life is that profanity is more dangerous than violence, as is sex.

In honour of the PTC's crusade to cleanse the public airwaves of non-family-friendly material, I have decided to provide a special reading from that grandmaster of family classics, the Holy Bible. Today's scripture reading is from Ezekiel 23:

    1 The word of the LORD came to me: 2 "Son of man, there were two women, daughters of the same mother. 3 They became prostitutes in Egypt, engaging in prostitution from their youth. In that land their breasts were fondled and their virgin bosoms caressed. 4 The older was named Oholah, and her sister was Oholibah. They were mine and gave birth to sons and daughters. Oholah is Samaria, and Oholibah is Jerusalem.
    5 "Oholah engaged in prostitution while she was still mine; and she lusted after her lovers, the Assyrians-warriors 6 clothed in blue, governors and commanders, all of them handsome young men, and mounted horsemen. 7 She gave herself as a prostitute to all the elite of the Assyrians and defiled herself with all the idols of everyone she lusted after. 8 She did not give up the prostitution she began in Egypt, when during her youth men slept with her, caressed her virgin bosom and poured out their lust upon her.

    9 "Therefore I handed her over to her lovers, the Assyrians, for whom she lusted. 10 They stripped her naked, took away her sons and daughters and killed her with the sword. She became a byword among women, and punishment was inflicted on her.

    11 "Her sister Oholibah saw this, yet in her lust and prostitution she was more depraved than her sister. 12 She too lusted after the Assyrians—governors and commanders, warriors in full dress, mounted horsemen, all handsome young men. 13 I saw that she too defiled herself; both of them went the same way.

    14 "But she carried her prostitution still further. She saw men portrayed on a wall, figures of Chaldeans [a] portrayed in red, 15 with belts around their waists and flowing turbans on their heads; all of them looked like Babylonian chariot officers, natives of Chaldea. [b] 16 As soon as she saw them, she lusted after them and sent messengers to them in Chaldea. 17 Then the Babylonians came to her, to the bed of love, and in their lust they defiled her. After she had been defiled by them, she turned away from them in disgust. 18 When she carried on her prostitution openly and exposed her nakedness, I turned away from her in disgust, just as I had turned away from her sister. 19 Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. 20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. 21 So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled. [c]

    22 "Therefore, Oholibah, this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I will stir up your lovers against you, those you turned away from in disgust, and I will bring them against you from every side- 23 the Babylonians and all the Chaldeans, the men of Pekod and Shoa and Koa, and all the Assyrians with them, handsome young men, all of them governors and commanders, chariot officers and men of high rank, all mounted on horses. 24 They will come against you with weapons, [d] chariots and wagons and with a throng of people; they will take up positions against you on every side with large and small shields and with helmets. I will turn you over to them for punishment, and they will punish you according to their standards. 25 I will direct my jealous anger against you, and they will deal with you in fury. They will cut off your noses and your ears, and those of you who are left will fall by the sword. They will take away your sons and daughters, and those of you who are left will be consumed by fire. 26 They will also strip you of your clothes and take your fine jewelry. 27 So I will put a stop to the lewdness and prostitution you began in Egypt. You will not look on these things with longing or remember Egypt anymore.

    28 "For this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I am about to hand you over to those you hate, to those you turned away from in disgust. 29 They will deal with you in hatred and take away everything you have worked for. They will leave you naked and bare, and the shame of your prostitution will be exposed. Your lewdness and promiscuity 30 have brought this upon you, because you lusted after the nations and defiled yourself with their idols. 31 You have gone the way of your sister; so I will put her cup into your hand.

    32 "This is what the Sovereign LORD says:
    "You will drink your sister's cup,
    a cup large and deep;
    it will bring scorn and derision,
    for it holds so much.

    33 You will be filled with drunkenness and sorrow,
    the cup of ruin and desolation,
    the cup of your sister Samaria.

    34 You will drink it and drain it dry;
    you will dash it to pieces
    and tear your breasts.
    I have spoken, declares the Sovereign LORD.

    35 "Therefore this is what the Sovereign LORD says: Since you have forgotten me and thrust me behind your back, you must bear the consequences of your lewdness and prostitution."

    36 The LORD said to me: "Son of man, will you judge Oholah and Oholibah? Then confront them with their detestable practices, 37 for they have committed adultery and blood is on their hands. They committed adultery with their idols; they even sacrificed their children, whom they bore to me, [e] as food for them. 38 They have also done this to me: At that same time they defiled my sanctuary and desecrated my Sabbaths. 39 On the very day they sacrificed their children to their idols, they entered my sanctuary and desecrated it. That is what they did in my house.

    40 "They even sent messengers for men who came from far away, and when they arrived you bathed yourself for them, painted your eyes and put on your jewelry. 41 You sat on an elegant couch, with a table spread before it on which you had placed the incense and oil that belonged to me.

    42 "The noise of a carefree crowd was around her; Sabeans [f] were brought from the desert along with men from the rabble, and they put bracelets on the arms of the woman and her sister and beautiful crowns on their heads. 43 Then I said about the one worn out by adultery, 'Now let them use her as a prostitute, for that is all she is.' 44 And they slept with her. As men sleep with a prostitute, so they slept with those lewd women, Oholah and Oholibah. 45 But righteous men will sentence them to the punishment of women who commit adultery and shed blood, because they are adulterous and blood is on their hands.

    46 "This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Bring a mob against them and give them over to terror and plunder. 47 The mob will stone them and cut them down with their swords; they will kill their sons and daughters and burn down their houses.

    48 "So I will put an end to lewdness in the land, that all women may take warning and not imitate you. 49 You will suffer the penalty for your lewdness and bear the consequences of your sins of idolatry. Then you will know that I am the Sovereign LORD."

I'm certainly glad my kids won't be exposed to the word "shit."


The Irrreverant Seraph said...

Perhaps the deeper psychological meaning behind the PTC is a whipping boy for their own innocence. After all, with illegal immigration, and high innercity birthrates, sexually repressed middle aged white people are becoming quite the minority. It is rather wierd to claim innocence in a collection of 40 year old housewives(all of whose children were, of course, immaculate) However, no one objects over the innocence of children. All of whom apparently posess the same situational awareness of schizophrenics and don't realize the denizens of the flickering box in the living room don't translate to the real world

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